The Void of Teenage Angst and Apathy

Close your eyes as you step into agony,

Don't be worried you'll get over it eventually,

He said to me" I am the void of teenage angst and apathy"

I'll be with you as you lay down and cry,

I'll be passing you time by time,

I'll pick you up when you fall,

I'll be there with you through it all,

And all the things that are meant to be,

Are all the things you see killing me

Watch your step as you step into brutality,

Don't be worried you'll get over it eventually,

And there is no void to teenage angst and apathy

I'll keep you going when you stall,

I'll pick you up when you fall,

And all the things that are meant to be,

Are all the things that are killing me

September 18th, 2007

So whats new with you?
I have physical therapy again today and it kind of sucks. I dont really like riding a stationary bike for 20 minutes, it kind of hurts. I'm not skating today....more withdraw symptoms, but don't worry I'll be there tomorrow. I really want to sleep. School is boring, except lunch. My head hurts, I don't feel well. I want to go home.

Sealed and Signed,
Gracie Deiss

Back to school

Ok, so this is already my second week of high school! It's definitely a new experience, but all the same I like it. I just dont always feel secure with myself. I've come to terms with the fact that I have OCD but I dont yet know how to control it. I find myself changing outfits in the morning at least twice and crossing things out because the letters didn't look right. I definitely haven't been skating as much as I'm used to. I'm having withdrawl symptoms. My physical therapy is not at all fun, i hate it. It hurts. And I don't find my knees improving. I think I need to go see a podiatrist but my mom refuses. I'm almost ready to test the Kilian, my first PreGold dance. I'm nervous. I'm afraid I might not get better. I'm afraid I'll let my team down this year. I'm afraid those 11 years of dedication and perserverance might be wasted. I'm afraid I will fail.
Sealed and Signed,
Gracie Deiss

Sam Pileggi

Ok, so these past few weeks haven't been great. I've started physical therapy for my many knee problems and i'm competing tomorrow.
Two weeks ago i was in miami i realized that it was Sam's 19th birthday. i dont really want to talk about it. but i definitely lost sleep over it. A hero by dictionary definition is someone who commits a great act through courage and selflessness. On November 30th, 2004, Sam and her best friend were walking their dogs when a kid drove by. He was under the influence and he hit the girls. Rumor has it that Sam instinctively pushed her friend out of the way, thereby sealing her fate. And i can remember is being at the funeral and seeing T.J. in a dress shirt and khaki pants and thinking this is it. Over 1,000 people showed up for Sam's viewing. I personally knew Sam from when I was a lot younger. We were family friends. She used to watch out for me at KinderCare. I will never forget the impact of her death on my school. We have a very big district, but everyone seemed to know Sam somehow, whether it be through study hall or babysitting. People knew. I definitely miss Sam. I feel like theres a piece of me missing, and my heart goes out to T.J. and Mr. and Mrs. Pileggi.

Sealed and Signed,
Gracie Deiss